Feelings
by mysticflare
Summary: When Kurt gets attacked, he loses his feelings. What happens? Rated T for some language.
1. Prologue

**Just a small little one-shot, review if you want me to continue! (:  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

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><p>Blaine backed out of the driveway like a bolt of lightning and sped when he hit the tarmac.<p>

_Kurt's been injured. Come to Lima Memorial now, please._ He had received the text from Finn just a mere five minutes earlier, and had bolted out the door, ignoring his father's questions. There would be plenty of time to talk later. Right now, Kurt,_ his best friend_ Kurt, was in the hospital in critical condition.

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><p><em>Kurt hummed "Teenage Dream" as he got into his car, but seconds later he felt himself being thrown out by two strong hands.<em>

_"What the-" he managed to get out before he felt a strong punch to his stomach. Two more punches were thrown before he felt himself stumble to the road, feeling his knees give way as he did. _

_"Fag!" he heard somebody shout before pain ripped through his abdomen. "Fag!" A kick to his shoulder. He went into a fetus position, hugging his knees close to himself._

_ "P-P-Please..." he cried, "S-Stop... Please..." He yelped in pain as he felt a burning slap to his cheek._

_"Shut up, fag!" Another kick. He lay on the ground, groaning and writhing in his own blood as his tormentor ran away._

_"Hey! Stop right there, you imbecile!" a familiar voice called out. Kurt groaned, trying to lift his head off the ground, but he found that he had no energy to do so._

_"Porcelain! Oh god- Sweet Porcelain, are you okay?" _Obviously not, Coach Sylvester_, thought Kurt as he felt his head spin. His head lifted off the ground with help from a certain Sue Sylvester's hands, but he could not keep his vision straight._

_"Porcelain!" he heard shouting. "Porcelain! Stay with me, okay? Hey, Jewish cloud, call 911 NOW!" _

_And then, black came._

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><p>"Kurt Hummel, please." Blaine panted to the reception counter right after he bolted through the door.<p>

"Kurt H.? Hold on a minute, young man." Blaine steadied his breathing as the lady typed into the computer. "Ah, Kurt H. Third floor, he's in the ICU right now. Elevators are to your left. After you're out, turn right and walk down the hall. Can't miss it."

"Thank you." Blaine walked briskly to the elevator and pressed the 'up' button. The doors opened a split second after and he slid in, hurriedly pressing the button for the third floor. A girl who was also in the lift got out on the same floor as him and strutted to the ICU. Blaine let his mind ask why she seemed so familiar before hurrying down the hall behind her.

"Where's Kurt?" the blond asked Finn, who was leaning against the wall, pale as a sheet.

"He's in there, Quinn. He's in the ICU ward." The blond, Quinn, pressed her face against the window of the ward.

"Kurt." she whispered before breaking down in tears. Blaine went up and stood beside her, taking in the sight before him. There was Kurt, his lithe body hooked up to a dozen or so machines. He had an oxygen mask and his chest was rising up and down slowly. A tear slowly slid down his cheek as he stared at the boy he loved, but had no courage to tell him so. He placed a hand on the window and let himself cry.

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><p><em>"Kurt," Elizabeth Hummel took her son's hand and they sat down on a bench in a room filled with white.<em>

_"Mom? Mom, I miss you so much." their eyes met, each staring into the other. Two pairs of glasz eyes sparkled in the stark white room._

_"Kurt, I'm here to tell you something." Kurt furrowed his brows in confusion. "What do you need to tell me, Mom? Just say it." Elizabeth sighed and pinched her nose bridge, as if in deep thought._

_"Kurt... You were almost killed." Kurt froze for a moment, then let out a laugh._

_"That's crazy, Mom. I'm right here-" right at that moment, he heard faint beeping. Oh god, he thought, I remember. The events of the afternoon before flooded his mind and pushed their way through his blank mind. "M-Mom? What's happening?"_

_"Kurt, you were attacked by somebody. He might have only kicked and punched you, but he hurt your heart and mind as well." Kurt felt her hand wipe away a tear from his face. "He made your feelings go away. And that's why I'm here. I'm h-here to tell you that... you can't feel anymore."_

_Kurt felt his mind swirl. "I-I can't f-feel?"_

_"You can feel the touches of people, of course, but you can't feel sorrow, happiness, fear, or..." Kurt squeezed his eyes shut, knowing what was coming next. "...love." at that word, he felt the dream world shift, and everything became an image of Blaine - his definition of love._

_"Blaine. I won't feel anything for him anymore." a tear slid down his cheek. "Why can I still cry? I'm not supposed to feel sad."_

_"You won't feel anything, dear, when you wake up. Tears will still come, though. I'm so sorry."_

_"When will I wake up?"_

_"I don't know, Kurt. I don't know." and with that, Elizabeth left, leaving Kurt crying his heart out._

_"Blaine. I won't feel anymore. I can't feel anything anymore._ Blaine_."_

_He felt his heart crack for what would most probably be the last time._

_"I love you."_

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><p>"Kurt? Hey, Kurt's awake!" Kurt sat up, looking straight at Blaine who was holding his hand.<p>

"Kurt!" Burt rushed forward to hug his son while Carole shed happy tears. Finn spun around, looking delighted, though tired.

"Dad?" Kurt said in a monotone voice. "Dad, I saw Mom in my dreams."

He felt his father stiffen before he continued. "I can't feel anymore, Dad. Grief, happiness, fear, love. Nothing. I'm sorry."

"W-What?" Blaine stuttered, feeling his world break, like a mirror shattering into a million pieces. Kurt can't feel anymore. Tears steadily made their way down his cheek, but Kurt wiped them away with his thumb, showing no expression on his face as he did so.

"Kurt," Burt said softly, "What do you m-mean by you can't feel?"

"I mean, I don't have feelings anymore." Burt broke down, and together with Finn and Carole, left the room in tears. Blaine looked at the door, but made no movements to leave Kurt.

"Blaine?" Blaine returned his attention to his best friend and nodded.

"Yes?" Kurt squeezed his hand.

"Blaine, when and if I get my feelings back, I'll be able to do this properly. But right now, I know. I love you, Blaine. I believe I have and I still do, though I cannot feel anything. I love you." Kurt looked at Blaine, hoping for any emotion to show.

To Blaine, it was just like looking into a blank piece of paper. Nothing showed up on the countertenor's face, but a tear slid down his cheek, staining his hospital gown. Blaine cupped Kurt's face softly and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"I love you, Kurt. I love you more than you can imagine. We'll find a way out of t-this, I promise." If Kurt had emotions, he would be smiling by now. But now, his eyes and face were void of expression.

"I love you." the words were said without passion, and Blaine cried even harder at that. Kurt kissed Blaine's tears away.

_I want to feel,_ his head screamed, _I want to feel. If not for myself, then for Blaine, Dad, Mom, Finn and my friends. Rachel, Mercedes... I want to feel again._

_Please let me be able to feel again._

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><p><strong>Well, there you go! If you want me to continue please do review! (:<strong>

**xxmysticflare  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 1: Grief

**Since you guys requested for it, here's chapter 2 of Feelings!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

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><p>"Mr. Hummel?" a female nurse called his name as he woke, and he stared straight at her. She was smiling, albeit sadly. "Mr. Hummel? Glad to see you're awake. I need you to fill in a few forms. Will that be okay?"<p>

"Sure." he said, noticing how she flinched at the lack of emotions in his voice. "Would you mind passing me a pen?" She reached into her pocket and pulled out a black pen, clicking it before handing it over to Kurt.

After he finished filling in the forms, he passed them to the nurse - Susie, as it said on her name tag - before he flipped through the channels on the TV that was on the wall of the ward. CSI? He had always tried watching that show before, but that often resulting in him crying out in hysterics at the murder scene before cowering on the couch. But hey, since he had no emotions now, why not give it a shot? He stared at the the blood pouring in the screen in front of him, he heard screams - but nothing could cause him to feel scared. He felt a tear slide down his cheek. Why can't he feel anymore? There has to be a reason. There was always a reason.

"Son?" Burt poked his head through the door, smiling at Kurt. "Hey son, I brought your iPod and stuff. You should be out of the hospital soon, you're recovering well. Does it hurt?" Kurt shook his head, eyes and face void of expression, just like the day before. Burt felt tears sting his eyes, but he wiped them away quickly. "So, where d'you wanna go after you're out of this place, huh? It's nearly summer vacation, and I bet if you want, we could hang out everyday till the summer vacation. That all right?"

"Dad, I want to go back to school. I have projects to hand in and Glee club to go to." Kurt responded monotonously. Burt nodded, his mind full of questions he wanted to ask, but both of them just sat there, enjoying the silence. Well, Burt enjoyed the silence. Kurt felt nothing.

"Kurt! Dude, you okay? Yesterday you were-" Finn barged in the room.

"Finn, I told you, stop calling me 'dude'. We're brothers, not two crazy footballers who bump fists and trade sweaty towels." Kurt interrupted.

"Sure, lil bro. Anyway, how are you feeling now?"

"I feel nothing." that sentence pricked the hearts of all the people in the room, sending a course of sadness through their body. Kurt shook his head and tried to feel it again. Was that... grief? Grief was an emotion, right?

"Say that again, Finn. Please. Ask me about how I feel, the painful stuff. Add in some Karofsky questions too, please."

"Uh. Sure, d- lil bro. How's things going on with Karofsky? He still calling you names?" Another pang of sadness. "Keep going, Finn."

"Um, remember when Burt took away your sweet ride 'cos he found your tiara collection?" Kurt's eyes started watering as he said, "He took that away, too."

Burt shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but did nothing to stop Finn and Kurt. "Kurt, hey Kurt, remember when Burt got a heart attack?"

"Yeah. I do." Kurt whispered. Tears rolled down his face, they may have been happy tears, but all he could feel now was despair.

"Kurt? Do you want me to stop?" Finn asked awkwardly, noticing the steady stream of tears coming down from Kurt's eyes.

"Thank you, Finn. I feel... sad. I can feel." Kurt tried to smile, but found no happiness within himself. Could he only feel grief? That would appear so. No matter, he was relieved that he could feel sad, especially so soon after the ordeal.

"Thanks, Finn. Really, thank you."

"Sure, dude. Anytime."

"Finn. No. Dude."

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><p><strong>There's chapter 2! I hope you liked it! Keep the reviews coming! I'm sorry about this being a short chapter, the next will be longer, I promise! (:<strong>

**xxmysticflare  
><strong>


	3. Chapter 2: Blaine

**Chapter 3 of Feelings! (: This is a really awkward chapter because I'm suffering from writer's block. Again. ):**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

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><p>Kurt felt his eyes crack open and sat up, examining the white room which was very different from the hospital ward he was in before.<p>

_Oh, right,_ he thought, _they're keeping me for observation._

Just a day ago, the doctor and a nurse came into his ward, asking him and his family if they could keep him for a few weeks to see what has caused him to lose his emotions. Burt almost punched the doctor in the face. "Keep him under _observation_? You think my son is a guinea pig?" he had yelled, balling his hands into fists. Kurt had reached out a hand to stop him, saying, "Dad, you're going to get another heart attack. Just let them do it. I don't feel anything anyway." and here he was, in the observation room.

The pure white room reflected Kurt's feelings. Stark white, bare but for a few spots. Grief pierced his body as he felt his shoulders shaking, and soon he was crying full-force. _What if I can't feel anymore?_ the world whirled around, mocking him. He buried his face in his hands and barely noticed the door opening and somebody rushing in, hugging him. Warm hands reached up to cup his face and lips met.

"Blaine." he managed to say as the older boy wiped away his tears.

"Shh," Blaine kissed Kurt's forehead and smiled sadly. "I see that you can cry. Did you get back your emotions?"

Kurt shook his head. "Only grief. I think this is a stepping-stone thing."

Blaine nodded his head, "How did you gain it back? Could I help with the other emotions?"

Kurt told him the whole story, of what Finn did, and how he came to realize that the emotions would come back one by one if somebody pushed for it.

"So... Finn came in, reminded you of a few incidents, and you gained it back? Sounds easy to me."

"Grief will always be the easiest. I've had so many unpleasant things happen to me, it would have been the first to come back anyway."

"Mmm." Blaine rocked Kurt and himself on the bed, humming a soft tune.

"Do you want to sleep? I know it's five in the afternoon, but how about a short nap? I'm exhausted from the day. Stupid Wes and David made me sing three songs today."

"Okay." Kurt said simply and fell into Blaine's embrace. The older boy wrapped his arms around the countertenor, fiercely protecting him from any nightmares.

"Wherever you go, I'll go too." he whispered in Kurt's ear before falling asleep.

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><p><em>"Mom?" Kurt whispered, taking in the silhouette of Elizabeth Hummel.<em>

_"Kurt, I see you've gained back Grief." Elizabeth smiled, patting on the bench they had sat on a few days ago._

_"Yeah, I have. Oh, and, Mom?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Why do I feel excited? I can feel in this dream, but I can't feel when I'm in the real world. Why?" Elizabeth drew a long breath before starting._

_"You still have your feelings, in your subconscious. It's hidden, locked away in the depths of your mind. You need a certain person and - or - incident to trigger the emotion, and it'll come to you. Everything will be alright in due time, dear. It might not take more than a few years."_

_"A few years?" Kurt deflated. He had expected it to all come back in a matter of months, not years._

_"That's the maximum, of course. You could get it back in as fast as a month too."_

_"How?"_

_"I don't know, Kurt. There are so many things I wish I knew, but I don't."_

_Tears left Kurt's sparkling glasz eyes as Elizabeth reached up a hand to wipe the tears away._

_"One day, you'll get everything back. I promise."_

_"B-But, I want it n-now." Kurt sobbed, dropping into Elizabeth's arms. "I-I want to f-feel, for Dad, for Carole, for my friends... for B-Blaine..."_

_"Blaine. That's a nice name. He's the one that's going to help you a lot, Kurt. I can feel it."_

_"B-Blaine. I need Blaine. Please, M-Mom, I need to f-feel. For Blaine."_

_"Hush, dear. I promise, everything will be back soon."_

_"M-Mom?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"I've never f-forgotten you. Neither has Dad. We both l-love you a lot."_

_"Yes, I know. Now close your eyes. Okay?"_

_"O-Okay."_

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><p>Kurt sat up and gazed at the boy who was sleeping soundly on his lap, a worried look on his face. He let his fingers run through Blaine's gelled hair, tears splashing on his arm as he did so. Would he be able to feel again? Of course he would, his mom had promised him. <em>He's the one that's going to help a lot, Kurt. I can feel it.<em> Kurt brushed away a few stray strands on Blaine's face and kissed his forehead.

Blaine opened his eyes, surprised at the sudden coldness. Were those Kurt's lips? He hadn't imagined them so hard and void of emotion, but he woke to see his beautiful best - boy? - friend with wet eyes.

"Kurt? You okay?" Kurt nodded.

"Blaine... would you stay for tonight? I really don't want to be alone. I mean, I don't feel lonely, but I need somebody to tell me I'm not a freak like the doctors whisper sometimes."

"The doctors shouldn't do that. They should be concerned! Come here, Kurt. Of course I'll stay tonight. It is Friday, right?" Blaine hugged the younger boy tightly before kissing his nose. "I won't let anybody hurt you, okay?"

"Okay."

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><p><strong>Just to be clear, it isn't one chapter one emotion. (: Hope you like it! Please review!<strong>

**xxmysticflare  
><strong>


	4. Chapter 3 Part 1: Obstacles

**Here's Part 1 of Chapter 3 of Feelings! One quick note for both my stories, "Don't leave me, Kurt" & "Feelings", I probably won't be updating as often as before 'cos I don't have lots of time at home nowadays. I have so many things to do! Sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

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><p>"Kurt? Wake up. It's 8 in the morning." Blaine gently pressed a kiss to Kurt's cheek, "C'mon, up! Your breakfast is here. They won't let you out till you've eaten it."<p>

"Mmh." Kurt drawled, "Mmkay. Whuz for breakfast?"

"Soup, bread, bacon." Blaine shrugged, pulling the table closer to the bed. "Eat up!"

Kurt shoved the food into his mouth and finished the glass of orange juice in record time. He motioned for Blaine to move aside and stood up, walking briskly to the bathroom. What Blaine heard next was the most horrifying sound ever. He turned the doorknob of the bathroom, slightly horrified at the sight before him. There was Kurt, the beautiful porcelain boy, looking pale and vomiting into the toilet bowl.

"Oh, Kurt..." he dropped down, hugging Kurt tightly. "It's gonna be okay. I promise." He grabbed a towel off the rack, wet it, and started cleaning up his boyfriend.

"I'm a mess." he whispered, tears trailing down his cheek. "I'm a mess, Blaine. I've been vomiting yesterday, before you came. I can't believe it came back. I'm a mess." he sobbed into Blaine's t-shirt while Blaine rubbed circles into his back.

"It's going to be okay. Trust me." Blaine whispered, kissing Kurt three times - on his forehead, nose, then lips.

"Everything's going to be okay."

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><p><strong>Okay that was really short but I should be doing shorter &amp; shorter chapters nowadays cos of my hectic schedule &amp; I don't like to keep writing one long chapter for a period of time so. Sorry! ):<strong>

**xxmysticflare**

_p.s. if you want to, check out my tumblr: sardomaniac[dot]tumblr[dot]com . :D_**  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 3 Part 2: Pain

**I'm so sorry for this delay! I'll be leaving the country this Friday & only coming back on Tuesday, so... yeah. Won't update for the rest of the week I think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

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><p>It was Saturday morning when Kurt pried open his eyes, wincing slightly at the bright light. This was something he had to get used to.<p>

"Mmh," a mess of curly hair stirred and sat up, yawning. "Mmh, 'ood Morning." Blaine yawned again, rubbing his eyes.

"Good morning." Kurt answered without any emotion. "Blaine, get some breakfast for me? I don't want to eat the hospital food."

"Mmkay," Blaine slurred, yawning as he got up. The older boy grabbed his coat and, blowing a kiss to his boyfriend, raced out the door.

Kurt played with the blanket, twirling it while watching in great interest. Suddenly, he felt a dull pain in his left leg. Registering what was happening, he quickly reached for the nurse call button, feeling a sharp pain envelope his torso. He punched the button and collapsed on the bed, panting from the pain. Wincing as he wrapped an arm around his waist, he groaned as the pains got worse and worse.

"Mr. Hummel?" the nurse walked in, then dropped her file as she ran for the doctor. Soon after, there was a doctor and another nurse in the ward. The doctor told the nurses what to do while calmly calling Burt, informing him of what was happening. Soon, all Kurt could see was black.

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><p><strong>Okay, I know that was super short but. Yeah. Sorry! Please review! (:<strong>

**xxmysticflare  
><strong>


	6. Note

**Hi guys. **

**I regret to inform you that this is not a chapter, but it's actually an authors' note.**

**I'll be updating, I promise, and I really want to, but I just have a lot of shit going on now.**

**Friendship problems, family problems, school problems, yeah.**

**The only day I really get to be happy is probably Saturday.**

**No drama. Just care-free tuition and bowling training.**

**Anyway, I promise that I will update as soon as I can solve all these puzzles in my life.**

**Thank you for being patient with me! Love you all!**

**xxmysticflare**


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